Life is One, dear Friend, but Life is also Many.
How do you combine these two, seemingly contradictory, notions?
But, of course, by uniting them with the bridge of relationship.
Everything is related to everything else; I’m sure you’ve heard all about it!
Not all relationships are of the same value, though.
Usually there are very few of them – say 1% – that mean to you more than the remaining 99% of them, combined, do.
Now, what you want to do is to further cultivate and keep on improving all such precious relationships in your life; I’m sure you don’t need me to stress you to you how important this is.
So, Here’s, From Me To You,
To Foster Such An Improvement Of Your Relationships
With The Individuals You Truly Cherish:
. . .
1. Listen To Them,
Again And Again,
And Then Listen To Them Some More
It is of paramount importance to be a good listener in life.
Especially when it comes to the people you have a special relationship with.
If you are a truly good listener – attentive, fully present, a beacon which emits endless waves (tsunamis!) of, spoken and unspoken, empathy and sympathy under any occasion – any individual you have a relationship with, feels so immediately and quite strongly.
This then creates a virtuous cycle of honesty, openness and transparency in your interactions with them, and it also fosters the arising of a mutual trust that is deep-rooted and truly powerful.
2. Devote Time To Understanding And Fulfilling Their Particular Needs
Every human being is unique and is, moreover, subject to constant change, inside and outside of them.
And if you:
a) can attune to another person’s distinct and unique needs, which are related to their character and the occasional circumstances they find themselves surrounded by, and
b) you dedicate all the time that is necessary to understand and respond to these needs of theirs with sensitivity and care,
then, the ensuing feeling of appreciation and gratitude – from the other side – and fulfillment – on your side – is complete and all-pervading.
3. Accept Them Unconditionally
No matter who they are, and regardless of their idiosyncrasies, peculiarities, eccentricities.
Embrace them not in spite, but because of who they are, in their entirety.
There can be no genuine or honest relationship among human beings if it is a selective one – “I like this and this about you, but I also happen to dislike you because of those other things” – or a matter of excessive compromise.
Conditions belong to transactions, not to authentic relationships among human beings.
4. Show Them That You Rely On Them Under Any Circumstances
In good and bad times alike.
Reach out to the special people in your life and share your good news so that you can rejoice in, and celebrate, them together.
Same when your going gets tough: approach them and tell them all about what is going wrong or what your challenge is, asking for their support and sympathy.
If your relationship is based on solid foundations, they will do everything that is within their power in order to help you, trust me.
5. Give Them Time And Space, Whenever They Need It
Always remain available to them, but never impose your presence.
They know you are there for them and they will get in touch with you exactly when they know they need you; precisely when the time is right.
Until then, give them all the time and space they require and don’t get impatient or grumpy if it takes them a while to reestablish communication with you.
Always remember that every person has their very own needs, processes and triggers.
6. Check In On Them Frequently
The exact value to be assigned to the word “frequently” in this context differs, of course, from case to case, of course; still, it is advisable to maintain a regular contact with the people you truly care for.
It is also important to check in on them in a way that is heartfelt and humane, so as to show them that you are really interested in how they are faring, instead of just appearing to do so only out of habit or obligation.
7. Tell Them Always What They Need To Hear
Without Hurting Them
This is often a delicate exercise, but it is necessary that you ensure you keep such balance.
There are occasions whereby you have to share with the people you love and whom you care about things that they may not like or which they may not be fully ready to hear.
In such cases, in which you know, even intuitively, that you have to be honest and even a bit forthcoming, don’t hold yourself back, but also be very mindful about how exactly you deliver your message.
In my experience, most people are more sensitive and vulnerable than what they seem to be on the surface.
But you should know better; after all, these are the people you are truly close to, right?
8. Let Them Understand And Feel
That You Shall Forever Be
Their Beacon Of Warmth and Light,
Their Refuge And Shelter
I will just say here that the trick is to make them feel exactly like that and mean it, even if forever is not – and cannot be – true…
9. Respond To Their Call For Help Immediately
The people you are deeply related to should always be your number one priority (and you should make sure you show that to them; see also the next point on this).
Therefore, at the very moment they really or urgently need your help, stop anything else you may be in the middle of doing and rush to provide them with all the assistance you can.
10. Demonstrate To Them That They Are Your Life’s Number One Priority
Yes, number one, higher than careers, finances, personal agendas.
Your authentic relationships are the true, number one source of happiness in your life.
And, if you don’t believe me, I’m sure you will believe this almost century-old (!) Harvard University study.
11. Stand By Them,
Even When You Disagree With Them
Or You Disapprove Their Actions
This is a tough one, but it can do miracles in terms of boosting the quality of your relationships with the people that are truly special in your life.
In a very real sense, it is a test of your commitment to your relationship with them:
Will you stand by their side, even when they mess up, even when they say or do things that you or others would not necessarily find acceptable?
There is, of course, always a limit here, beyond which you have to draw a red line.
This red line varies from person to person and from situation to situation.
But behind such red line, your level of tolerance will determine the continuation and potential strengthening of your meaningful relationship with another – temporarily lost – Soul.
12. Cross-Fertilize Your Interests And Talents
This is a great one.
Human relationships are the prime area in life whereby the common Field you and another human being form as a result of your interaction is greater than the sum of its parts (that is you and the other person as standalone, individual human beings).
And this phenomenon truly assumes miraculous proportions whenever you combine your distinct interests, skills, competencies and talents with those of another human being’s… just for the fun of it!
The creativity that is manifested in such cases is explosive, and is catalyzed by the sound and unobstructed communication between you and them.
And when you increase the number of interacting parties to three or even more…
Sky is truly the limit!
13. Develop Non-Verbal Means Of Communicating With Them
Whatever is really worthy and valuable in life cannot be encapsulated in words.
And even the most eloquent poet could not verbalize the things that human eyes and bodies are sharing with each other.
Moreover, when you vibrate in an aligned, synchronous way with another human being, you even tend to forget that words exist…
All that matters is the all-encompassing Feeling generated through the magic of your interface.
14. (Ful)Fill Your Life With Them
The people you love being with are the salt of your earth.
Fill your life with them, as much as you can.
Days and nights, weekdays and weekends.
It’s really easy to achieve this – much easier than what you may imagine – especially nowadays, whereby instant communication with anyone, anywhere in the globe, is a literal possibility.
Besides, nothing can give you more fulfilment than sharing as much of your life as possible with the people who matter most to you.
Really, do I need to argue about that?
Now, then… pick up this phone!
15. Treat Every Interaction With Them As If It Were Your First And Last One
In a sense, it is!
Every interaction you have with the people you truly cherish in your life – or with anyone, for that matter – is unique and can never be repeated in exactly the same fashion.
So, each such interaction, without exception, has to be a celebration, an intimation and a farewell.
This is the beauty of life, and there’s no reason to feel sad or melancholic about it.
You and everyone around you constantly change, anyway.
You can’t fight change.
However, you can take consolation in the fact that there is something deep inside of you that always stays the same.
And if such a thing exists, it must coincide with your true nature.
Because if everything else is fleeting and moribund, then what is persistently there – here – has to be the core of your Being.
Wouldn’t you like to find out what that is?
Until we meet again,
Stay relevant by staying related to whomever – and whatever – genuinely matters to you!