Fear of failure…
Who hasn’t dealt with it?
It would probably be quite unnatural if there were a member of our species who has never experienced such fear in their lives.
I am therefore going to assume that you, the reader of this post, have also faced it, and continue facing it, in one way or another.
I believe it is a safe assumption.
Now, what is beyond certain is that you need to acknowledge and overcome your fear of failure.
Granted, this may not always be an easy feat to accomplish – in particular when the stakes are high – but it is both feasible and necessary.
So, without further ado, here are 5 things you can try in order for you to get past your fear of failure that I trust you will find helpful:
1. Redefine The Meaning Of The Word “Failure” In Your Personal Dictionary
Look, it’s really simple:
As Long As You Don’t Quit
There Is No Such Thing As Failure!
In this sense, what was formerly known in your personal vocabulary as “failure” now turns into an intermediate checkpoint, a milestone to your eventual, almost mathematically certain, success.
Because, so long as you are not let down or become dejected by your failure and you keep moving towards your goal, your objective, your vision… what is there to fear, really?
Instead of bringing you down on your knees, such temporary setbacks should function as valuable lessons you need to learn and through which you must grow, as you move closer and closer to your eventual success.
(Even if the latter will not be exactly like you imagined it to be when you first set out to find it).
So, every time you fall, get back on your feet as soon as possible, and then study and understand the reasons why you fell.
Then keep moving forward, towards your destination, armed with the knowledge from your previous falls and the confidence that nothing can stop you until you get where you’ve always wanted to be.
2. Always Ensure That The Things You Aim For Have A Higher Value To You
Than What You Put At Risk By Going After Them
The first and most important thing to understand here is that what truly matters is which value – primarily, in qualitative terms – you assign to the various things in your life, and more specifically to the ones you aim for and aspire to get.
The value others – society, family, friends, lovers, coworkers etc. – attribute to things is irrelevant unless you make it relevant by adopting it without first filtering it through your very own value system.
Now, once you have seriously engaged in that work and you have identified the things that are of the highest value to you, what is more natural than to go for them (that is, assuming you don’t already have them)?
So, yes, by all means do so, but just make sure that what you are wagering in striving to get these things isn’t of an even higher value to you.
You see, in the latter case you would be taking an unnecessary, badly calculated and excessive risk, and, for once, your fear of failure would be totally justified.
Otherwise, such fear loses its significance, considering that what you could potentially get (or forego, by not pursuing it) clearly exceeds the value of what you could lose in trying to get it.
A, noteworthy, logical extension of that premise is the following:
If you strive for something that is of an absolute, priceless worth to you, then there would be nothing that would be “too much” to risk in order to get it.
And, of course, the other side of this coin is that you should never, ever place at risk anything which is truly invaluable and priceless in your eyes.
3. Realize That Life Is Too Short For You To Waste It In Fear And Hesitation
Life flows so quickly, I’m sure you will have noticed.
And the time you have at your disposal is not endless, this I bet you will have noticed even more prominently.
So, you need to ask yourself whether you truly wish to spend very significant chunks of your precious time in endless contemplation – listening to your fear and hesitations – as to whether you should embark on journeys you really wish to take.
The answer is obvious.
But, still, you may find it challenging to stop thinking about what scares you; what holds you back.
Understandably so.
What you could then try to do is put yourself in a program. And the best way to do that is to cut a deal, so to say, with your very own self. This could be something like: “From now on, I will devote 30 minutes of my time each day on this big dream of mine, which also happens to scare me so much”.
You can adjust this to your pace and your capacity, but you have to commit to it.
In this way, you take baby steps day after day after day and, at the same time, fear and hesitation accordingly diminish.
If you truly and consistently dedicate yourself to your daily allotted time, there will come a certain day when you will look back and realize the enormous progress you will have made.
Chances are, then, that with this very realization, you will also see that the formerly paralyzing fears you experienced have now completely dissipated.
4. Realize That Life Is Too Long
For You To Worry That You Will Run Out Of Opportunities
Opportunities for you will always be aplenty.
Of course it is true that in life every passing moment is unique and unrepeatable.
But the secret here is to avoid attachment to any particular thing.
Because, indeed and as we just said in somewhat different words, no two opportunities in your life will be exactly the same. However, this doesn’t mean that a missed opportunity, or an opportunity you didn’t manage to take advantage of, signify catastrophe, doom, the end of your world.
Your job is to remain motivated and energized to pursue all these things that truly make your heart sing. It is most definitely NOT to worry about whether, how and which exact opportunities your way will come.
In other words, what you first need to do is to make sure that you remain in such a state of calm alertness and readiness. Having established this, you can then engage with any opportunity that manifests in your life, and which you deem as worthwhile investigating and pursuing.
5. Remember That Fear Is A State Of Mind, And Reality Is Always Beyond It
This is a very important thing to always recall.
Even in the rare cases in which the feeling of fear is justified, it is never real.
It is only a thought in your head and an emotion in your body.
True, it may affect you, and it often has severe psychosomatic consequences on many a human being. How could one deny it?
Yet, that doesn’t change the fundamental reality, which is that…
Fear Is Unreal
As I have argued in another post: what you fear is unreal and what is real is beyond fear.
You are always able to at least try and deal with the difficulties that life is throwing your way, to the best of your ability.
But to constantly worry and fear about them, speculating how they could manifest and harm you, while it is actually uncertain if that is even a realistic scenario, is akin to shooting yourself in the foot, before even aiming at your target.
Having said this, an important thing to bear in mind is that whenever fear comes, the best way to deal with it is neither to succumb to it, and let it dictate your actions and reactions, nor to push it away.
The best course of action in this case is to see your fear for what it really is – a fleeting emotion with no firm grip on your reality – and allow it to pass through you, by experiencing it in its entirety, however long it lasts (and, usually, it doesn’t last that long).
If you follow this approach consistently and meticulously, you are bound to observe a quickly diminishing impact of the fear of failure – actually: of fear, in general – in your life.
Isn’t that what everyone’s aiming for…?
Until we speak again,
Try applying these 5 tips in your everyday life to overcome your fear of failure.
Start from small things, and aim there at easy and quick victories to increase your self-confidence.
Then, you can gradually aim for the higher-hanging fruits.
Best of luck!
Alex
PS: By the way, a common fear of failure these days for so many people relates to their chances of becoming financially independent, and, in doing so, manage to escape from the corporate “rat race” and a job they hate.
This may also be the case for you.
Now, it is true that there is no magic wand that will immediately transform you from a financially dependent employee to a multimillionaire entrepreneur running a multitude of businesses.
Yet, it is also true that in this era of Internet “boom”- especially during and after the Corona virus pandemic – the opportunities for you to go down this highly promising road and build the life of your dreams by finally doing something you love have never been so many.
This being said, one can easily get lost in the ocean of opportunities or “opportunities” (the latter being more than the former, to tell you the truth) which abound in the virtual world these days.
So, if you are interested in such a genuine opportunity – which happens to also be unique and extensively tested, and which I myself have picked up and followed with outstanding and swift results – have a look here.