It is a very good thing to have clear objectives in life.
It is also supremely good to make plans about how to go ahead and realize them.
And it is also super good to actually follow-through and put your plans into action, adjusting them along the way, depending on the obstacles and circumstances you meet as you move towards meeting your objectives.
Finally, it is really, really good that once you know you have worked to the best of your ability towards realizing your objectives, and there is nothing more you can do, to relax and surrender to the final outcome, whatever that may be.
But This Is The Tricky Part, Isn’t It?
Because this is where the “unmet expectations” factor usually comes into the picture.
Simply put, in a given situation, an expectation is a wish you have for things to turn out in exactly the way that you believe would serve your interests to the maximum degree.
Now, it would probably be fair and accurate to say that:
Reality Is The Graveyard Of Unmet Expectations
You must have observed this in your life.
Rarely, if ever, do your expectations fully materialize.
Even in cases out of which you would consider it safe to expect a particular outcome, you may still find that surprises – not necessarily, pleasant – are in store for you.
Yet, despite all the overwhelming evidence against their value, you insist on having expectations and, worse, you invest in, and attach yourself to, them.
Then, you get really frustrated when their crash test with Reality turns out to be fatal (at least, for them, if not for others as well)…
The solution is clear:
Drop All Your Expectations, Right Here, Right Now
It is really easy to do that, once you really see how harmful they are to you.
At The End Of The Day, Reality Is What It Is
Please, don’t get me wrong: it is very OK, and it can often be quite the noble activity, to try and influence Reality to the maximum extent so as your objectives be met.
But you must also realize and accept that in virtually any endeavor you undertake the outcome never depends entirely on you.
There are so many – infinite, come to think of it – factors outside your control, that it would be chimeric to believe you can steer Reality at your will.
If you truly see that, if you fully grasp it, then you will find out that you will discard your expectations automatically.
And, to do so, is extremely liberating.
Because afterwards you can finally focus all your energy on doing your thing – whatever that may be – and enjoy the actual process of doing it to the fullest, while remaining blissfully detached from expecting a very particular result out of it.
And once you know you’ve done your best to pursue your goal and there is nothing more you can do…
Let Things Turn Out As They Are (Were Always) Meant To Turn Out
Of course, if the outcome is not to your preference, and if it is still possible, you can resume your efforts in order to achieve something better for you.
But what is definitely a waste of time and energy is to be dejected or angry as a result of your expectations not being met and demand that it be otherwise, when it evidently cannot.
Ultimately, Expectations Are Only In Your Head
They Are As Unreal As Any Of Your Thoughts
So, just stick to Reality.
Be aware of It, investigate It, study It, understand It.
At the same time, take some distance from yourself and observe as carefully as you possibly can how it (you) is bound and conditioned by things that are non-existent, such as wishful thoughts and expectations, illusory needs, desires, or fears.
This is the beginning of your self-realization journey, which should not be done haphazardly, but consistently and systematically.
That is, if you care for it to be effective and life-altering, in ways you could never imagine ahead of embarking on it…
So, if you want to give it a go, here’s something you may find of help.
Until next time,
Be present, alert and expectation-less!