Dear friend,
Deep within me, a sickness resides.
It has been with me ever since I can recall myself as a separate, distinct entity.
Or, simply, as a…
… Human Being.
When I think I have finally freed myself from Her, that’s when I become even more entangled in Her Web.
Which is…
… A Web Of (LITERALLY!) Cosmic Proportions
Actually, you could say that whenever I think (period), Her Grip upon me tightens.
Now, let me tell you what She does to me.
(And don’t be surprised if you sense a VERY familiar chill down your spine as you read the lines that follow).
It boils down to three main things.
NUMBER ONE:
She Blurs My Vision
Mostly metaphorically, but quite often also literally.
She chokes me and my judgment by means of a mental avalanche, against which – especially as soon as it reaches a certain momentum – I simply cannot fight back against.
Once I have been blinded by Her, I then act as a possessed automaton, completely deprived of my free will, and in ways that hurt (or even cripple) me.
NUMBER TWO:
She Keeps Me Stuck
I cannot let go of anything, I cannot move on, I am denied of my alignment with the ever true and present (right here, right now) moment.
I end up gravitating in a seemingly infinite loop around Her untouchable centre of immense Nothingness.
I become Her sleeper-dreamer-undead agent, spewing eeriness, desperation and chaos all around me and transmitting Her on whatever and whomever I contact.
NUMBER THREE:
She Marks My Fate
She distorts the unique pattern of my identity, forever and for good.
Both my denying and accepting Her lead to the exact same result: I become ever more bound to serving and promoting Her.
She poisons my spontaneous joy of life and keeps me perennially hungry and thirsty for more of the exact same nothingness, which only devours, despite having no mouth and no stomach…
Oh, yeah, She does one more crucial thing to me:
She makes me feel as if I could convince anyone about anything, whereas, in reality…
… Nobody Could Ever Force Upon Anybody Else Even One’s Tiniest Conviction
That’s my Sickness.
(By the way, does She sound familiar to YOU?
Could it be that you suffer from / are bound by Her as well?
Do you also find yourself levitating in Her pitch-black, bottomless pit, without a way to discern whether you are heading up or going down)?
I call Her (my Sickness) Jane.
My relationship with Jane has gone through three stages:
Stage One: Ignorance
“I am not sick.
In fact, this is the heathiest I’ve ever been in my life.
So, what is the reason of that nagging nuisance”?
Stage Two: Denial
“Yes, things are not rosy overall, but it’s nothing serious, really.
I’ll get over it and feel much, much better, if only I do X and Y and Z…
… or as soon as I determine what (X, Y and Z) it is I need to do”.
Stage Three: Assimilation
“I now see how sick I am.
Not only that, but I also see that I can do absolutely nothing about it.
Because to be sick is to be human…
… and to be human is to be sick”.
Yet, friend, this is not the end.
Actually, there is no such thing as “the end”.
Neither for me nor for you (or anyone).
It’s not even the beginning of the end…
… or the end of the beginning.
No, it’s something beyond that – in fact, it is “something” beyond every single thing.
But now, that Jane and I are one…
… I can (=may(=will)) move to the other side.
What Lies On The Other Side Of My Sickness
It’s what is (truly) Real.
The wordless – and world-less – indescribable Real.
And how else – how on Earth, this one or any other – could you ever get to know It?
Because, you see, dear friend, there is nothing in this world that is irrelevant or purposeless.
So why and how could my (and your or our) Sickness be an exception to the Exceptionless?
And, more specifically, in my case (that is: in your and our case), Jane’s concrete relevance, purpose, MEANING was to lead me to the Truth.
The One and Only Truth.
Know The Truth
And The Truth Shall Set You Free
How to argue or push back against this assertion (and assignment)?
So, do you think that you may be sick?
If yes, do you want to be cured – or rather…
… find out what has been (is) the exact point – meaning, reason - of you having been suffering for so long?
Yes?
Here’s how…
… as well as…