You don’t actually choose whom you love — your only real choice is what you do once the pull has already arrived Ask whether you chose whom you love, and the quick answer is yes — or at least that you could have consciously made that choice, that with a little more sense you would […]
Can you choose whom to love? Read More »
Why the move that makes no sense to your rational mind is the only one that frees you — and why its very irrationality is the reason it works You carry a part of you that needs things to add up. Hand it a problem and it does what it always does — reasons, plans,
It’s irrational — yet (THEREFORE) it works Read More »
Why dreaming with your eyes wide open has only one way in — and why that way is the opposite of everything you would normally do Notice, for a moment, how much of your day you do not actually remember. The commute that happened while you were elsewhere. The meal eaten while you answered messages.
The One and Only Way to Dream with Your Eyes Wide Open Read More »
Why the foundation of happiness is not control but absolute trust — and why the more tightly you grip, the more unreachable happiness feels You have arranged things well. The accounts, the calendar, the people, the contingencies — you have learned to stay ahead of life, to see the problem before it arrives and have
The Foundation of Happiness Is Absolute Trust Read More »
Why ordinary life turns vivid the moment you stop reaching past it — what your communion with the divinely mundane gives you back There is a moment that visits you sometimes, if you are paying a certain kind of attention, and it makes no sense on the surface. The steam off the coffee, the weight
The Blessed Exaggeration: What Comes Out of Your Communion with the Divinely Mundane Read More »
Why you can’t handle happiness, love, or freedom when it finally arrives — and what keeping them at a distance protects There is a sentence almost no one says out loud, because it sounds absurd: enough — please, no more of the good things. Nobody admits to it. And yet you may have lived it,
Why “weep, and you weep alone” is true almost everywhere — and the one exception You already know the first half is true. When things go well, the room fills. People want to stand near your laughter — it warms them, costs them nothing, asks nothing back. And you have felt the second half too,
Laugh, and the World Laughs With You — Weep, and You Weep Alone; Unless… Read More »
Why the oldest joke is also the one that costs the most — and how “you are what you are looking for” stops being a slogan There is a sentence you have probably met before, on a card or a wall or the back of a tea box: you are what you are looking for.
Why the more you walk, the less you arrive — and how being over doing becomes a lived fact instead of a slogan There is an accounting I have been keeping for years now, and it refuses to add up the way a life is supposed to. The more I walk — the more faithfully
The More You Walk — the Less You Arrive, the More You Are, the Less You Do Read More »
Why a chronic problem never falls to direct attack — and what kind of synthesis it finally dissolves in Most problems in a life respond to competence. You analyse them, you work at them, they move. This post is about the other kind — the one problem that has not moved. The chronic one. The
Why what you react to keeps coming back — and what changes the moment you meet it instead of fighting it I want to be careful with this one from the first sentence, because the title can be misheard. This is not the idea that the universe sends back whatever you put out, that your
What You React To Will Keep Coming Back — What You Meet Can Finally Rest Read More »
Seven micro-actions I return to through the day — and why staying focused, calm and alert turns out to be something that happens, not something I do I want to be honest about the title before we go further, because it promises something I am going to partly take back. These seven small things do
